How much is too much? A Life-Changing Encounter
– Dr Khusbu Singh, Bhubaneswar
A Profound Encounter
Some encounters in life leave an everlasting imprint on your soul, shaking your perception of strength and resilience. Meeting Sunny (Name changed), was one such encounter. A home care visit to a small village near Thiruvananthapuram, Kerala, unexpectedly unfolded into a rollercoaster of emotions, heartbreak, and a connection that changed my perception towards life.
The Journey to Irinchayam
During my training at Trivandrum Institute of Palliative Medicine (TIPS) in 2023, we eagerly waited for home visit days as we got to see the untouched beauty of KeraIa. This time it was Irinchayam, a village 20 kilometers from Thiruvananthapuram. The serene beauty of Kerala surrounded the small house perched on a hill. However, stepping inside revealed a reality that is far remote from the tranquility seen outside. A thin old woman greeted us and led us into the only room in the house. There, lying on his stomach, was Sunny with a mobile phone in one hand and a medicine strip in the other. His face lit with the warmest welcome smile. It was hard to believe that this cheerful man had been paralyzed and bedridden for 16 years following a tragic accident.
Sunny’s Story
As I learned more about him, I realized that his smile concealed a story of unimaginable pain and betrayal. Once an assistant director in the Chennai film industry, an accident turned his entire life upside down. Friends and family abandoned him. His property and savings were taken. He was left with nothing but his indomitable spirit. He had somehow managed to embrace his reality. At that moment, my professional composure wavered. His smile, so genuine yet so painful, broke something inside me. He was my age. Could I ever endure such pain with the same grace? I don’t know why I connected. Maybe it was the pain, or the fact that we were of the same age, or maybe it was simply because of his never fading smile!!! I don’t know. But we did.
Life Beyond Pain
Sunny and his mother has been cared for by TIPS. Starting from basic palliative services to air beds, to regular home visits, to free medication, to providing social and spiritual support, to providing hospital care as and when needed, all of his needs were cared for by TIPS. Language was a barrier; I didn’t speak Malayalam, and he didn’t understand Hindi. Yet, with the help of a sister who translated conversations for us, we connected. Sunny seemed indifferent to his physical pain. Instead, he showed me pictures of the movies he had directed upto the editing work he was currently doing on his broken mobile phone just to keep himself busy. His actual and only concern wasn’t about himself, but, of his aging mother. “Ask my mother if she has any problems. I’m fine” he said, his smile unwavering. Sunny’s acceptance of his fate was humbling.
As I left that day, my heart felt heavy. That brief meeting stayed with me, haunting my thoughts and touching my soul. I don’t know how many such Sunny’s are out there, who are unable to access basic care. This thought didn’t allow me to sleep that day. For Sunny, TIPS was his only ray of hope. You see, sometimes palliative care service becomes the only and the most essential service for patients and their care givers. Sometimes, we providers fail to realize how much of a positive impact we leave behind in the lives of our patients and their caregivers. The growth of palliative medicine in India and it’s much needed reach towards the needy is unimaginable. In all this, I found my purpose that day.
The Unexpected Bond
Months later, I again found myself in Thiruvananthapuram for my final examinations. Despite my busy schedule, I couldn’t shake the excitement of seeing Sunny again. We had kept in touch over the telephone, and when I visited him, his joy was palpable. This time, we shared tea and plum cake. His smile seemed brighter and more genuine. In conversation, he shared that he wishes to visit the Padmanabhaswamy Temple, something he wasn’t able to do in the past 16 years. My cab driver, Mahesh (name changed), played the role of our translator and unknowingly became a part of this bond. Together, we promised to fulfill his wish during my next visit.
A Never-Ending Struggle
While our connection brought brief moments of joy in Sunny’s life, his suffering remained unrelenting. He was admitted to TIPS for complications from bedsores and a urinary tract infection. His mother on the other hand battled her own health issues. As if this wasn’t enough, his only brother, a labourer in Dubai, was diagnosed with oral cancer.
Lessons in Resilience
Through Sunny, I learnt the resilience of the human spirit and the unyielding power of acceptance. His story isn’t just about pain; it is about finding joy in the darkest corners of life, forming connections that transcend words, and holding onto hope when everything else seems lost. For Sunny, TIPS was his hope. So my friends, each of us have to work relentlessly to create hope within our networks, so that we can reach out to and care for as many Sunnys’ as possible.
Inspiration and Shared Dreams
My cab driver and my bucket list now holds a shared dream: to take Sunny to the Padmanabhaswamy Temple. From within his small, dimly lit room, he has inspired me in ways I cannot fully articulate. I realize that his suffering may never end, but I am also sure that his ability to endure, smile, and connect with everyone, will forever remain a testament to the strength of the human spirit.
The Power of Transformation
How much is too much??? Perhaps, the answer lies not in quantifying pain or connections, but in realizing their power to transform and unite us.